First of all....I'm engaged! what a crazy, beautiful, wonderful thing. God could not have drawn me to the side of a more loving, amazing man, and I am more than blessed. These past few weeks have brought so many things. The priest, in his homily this past sunday said something that keeps coming back to me- nag God in prayer. And I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately. God please heal me, and protect me, and bring me joy. Every day, over and over, that's my prayer. And slowly, I've started to be reminded of the tenderness and loving gentleness of God... and it is comforting how well He knows me. He knows what will bring me peace, and joy, and He knows the particular brand of love that will draw me closer to Him. Last night I stood out on the back porch and watched the most incredible sunset...I know it sounds cheesy and maybe a little silly, but I saw it from the couch inside and felt like God was just drawing me outside to Him. And all I could do was praise Him in that moment. God has also been reminding me slowly how much I love music, and how affected I am by it. Somewhere in the course of the past few months, I've let go of that, which is pretty unfortunate. (In case you're wondering, listening to Joe Purdy lately has reminded me just how amazing and comforting music can be..you should probably listen to him). When I'm tempted to just sink into sadness or fear, God reminds me of the incredible amount of love in my life, and the magnitude of His beauty...I mean goodness, to have a man kneel in front of me and ask me to marry him, to come awake to God's beauty, to listen to a truly great song, to get hugs from a three year old... maybe He IS healing me, by reminding me of love and goodness.
And even when im afraid and anxious, and fearful of all of the what-ifs in my life, am I not still ABUNDANTLY blessed?