Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Life seems so messy sometimes. There is so much pain, and so much hurt and suffering. There are people in Haiti right now searching relentlessly for the people they love, mourning for those that they've lost. People are suffering broken hearts. Some people wake up in the morning and can barely look themselves in the eye...people walk around waiting for someone to love them and notice them. We are constantly falling down and picking ourselves back up again. Sometimes it scares me how out of control some things seem. Like my heart. After all these years, I still suffer hurts from things like my first broken heart. I find myself getting really frustrated sometimes by the fact that I can't simply live my life based on what i know to be true...God's love in infinite; He loves me eternally, despite my many faults; His healing is the only thing that will quiet the aching in my heart. I find myself pleading with God, asking Him why i have to feel-be-this way. What do i do Lord? And his answer, his Word, is this: "Love me. Will you love me?" My first instinct is to say Yes. There is nothing else for me, but to Love Christ. It is what i was created for. But how how am i answering that question in my actions, thoughts and words in each moment? This life is messy-its crazy. There is hurt, and suffering, and pain, and confusion and present in all of it is this one question: "Will you love me?"

"For surely i know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart. I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and father you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which i sent you into exile."
Jeremiah 29:11-14

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