Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Seek death. Live naked. Love, period.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, i am a tree
bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
when all of the sudden i am unaware of these afflictions, eclipsed by glory
and i realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

he loves us, oh how he loves us
oh how he loves us
oh how he loves us
oh how he loves

we are his portion and he is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
if grace is an ocean we're all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
i dont have time to maintain these regrets when i think about the way he loves us
................

Rachel and i had coffee yesterday, and she mentioned to me hearing about a nun who would wake up in the morning, and before her feet hit the floor she would just lay in bed and say "Jesus...i just need you to love me right now...just love me." Something about that really struck me, and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think a lot of the time the Love of God doesn't cross my mind. I think about God's mercy, I think about God's calling in my life, I think about prayer and conversation, and meditation and a lot of elements that add up to whether or not i have a prayer life that is on track. But i feel like i rarely step back and look at the core of it all- the LOVE of God. I think we fail to realize sometimes that God loves us so much that he is willing to spend eternity gazing at us, taking in every detail of who we are, marveling at his handiwork, waiting for us with perfect patience (and jealousy) to turn to Him. I sit alot in prayer, lifting up intentions, or praying the rosary, or saying prayers of adoration, but when it comes to letting God just Love me, i put up a wall. Why? Am i afraid to let Him see who i really am, in all my weakness and sin? He KNOWS. He has always known. Like that song says..."I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us."
I want to wake up in the morning and say "Lord, I'm gonna let you love me today." If i can do that, and tear down that wall, His love isn't going to be able to be contained in me...and God willing my life will be able to touch other people. This life is temporary. God's Love is eternal.

2 comments:

Afro John said...

This is a great reflection. That's all.

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