I want to take a few minutes to make some honest statements for my own sanity:
1. It is so incredibly beautiful here, and it makes me want to appreciate home that much more when i get back. I can't wait to be back in st. Charles and watch the sunrise over the river, and be back in Atchison to drive through the country at night and stargaze.
2. I'm really missing the women in my life who keep me accountable. Being here without that stability is really hard for me.
3. I miss camp more than i can explain, and have been thinking about it often. I hope that it's in the cards that i end up there again this coming summer. I am praying about it.
4. I'm over it.
5. I feel so horribly inadequate right now, and its been hard for me to look at myself in the mirror for the past few weeks.
6. Other than avoiding myself (aka number 5) I can't complain about my life, obviously, and i am pretty happy.
7. Then again I'm pretty good at pretending that I'm OK when I'm not.
8. C. S. Lewis is helping me reevaluate my life.
9. I'm sort of sick of not having anyone to spill to, and i haven't cried in a long time, and that bugs me.
10. I wish more than a lot of things that people could just be honest with each other, say what they want to say, and what they mean, and not worry about the outcome.
11. There are a lot of changes i want/need to make in my life when i get home, but i don't know if i have the courage to make them.
12. I think one really good "im gonna pretend im jennifer hudson" session would totally turn how i feel around...no but really.