Today is the anniversary of the death of a kid that i went to high school with. I realized that just a few minutes ago, and it got me to thinking about how much i miss my grandma, and my uncle. If i were at home, i would go and visit them, and I really wish that i were at home.
It's hard to remind myself that distance doesn't necessarily separate you from the people that you love. The physical distance is still there, sure. But what other distance is there really?
They are in my thoughts, and prayers, and i remember them every single day.
There has been, and still is so much hurt in my family, even still from losing my uncle so many years ago. As for my grandma, that hurt is still pretty fresh, but even down the road it will still bring me pain. I'm not saying that in a resentful or bitter way, just with truth.
The missing never goes away i dont think. But life does go on. In many ways, our lives can even become richer through our losses, because we can attempt to infuse into our own lives all of the character and love that those loved ones exemplified while they were still with us. Each time i think of Tim, i think of my attitude. Am i living life with a smile on my face, and peace in my heart, or am i constantly complaining about things i have to do. Do i love life as much as he did?
Whenever i think of my grandmother, i think about love. Am i loving the people in my life with everything that i have, the way that she did? Am i as joyous as she was?
Much as i would love to be sitting with them right now, I need to remind myself that the distance of them being gone from the world is nothing. They are waiting somewhere for the rest of us, and I just can't wait until the day when our whole family can be together again. That isn't meant to sound morbid, and Lord knows i can definitely wait for the next loss, but...Death is just a part of living. Until then...
I am home in heaven dear ones, Oh so happy and so bright. There is perfect joy and beauty in this everlasting light. All the pain and grief is over, every restless tossing passed. I am not at peace forever, safely home in heaven at last. There is work still waiting for you, so you must not idly stand. Do it now, while life remaineth, you shall rest in God's own land. When that work is all completed, he will gently call you home. Oh, the rapture of that meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come!
Timothy and Regina, may your flight with the prince of angels be ever joyful.