It's been about eight years since I blogged. It's actually been about a month but it feels longer.
Pregnancy was pretty effectively kicking my butt on the daily until just recently, when it started to just kick it in moderation, so I'm feeling a little bit better. Still eating for five, but not as nauseous as I was, and not as tired.
Since I wrote last, Tommy tuned ONE, which blew my mind a little bit. A one year old! I saw another one year old recently, and I thought...Is my son really that old? Does he really look that big? He does! He's growing up before my eyes. Sometime soon I will try to do what I hardly ever do, and post some photos.
I have to admit something though. This is a challenging age for me. I love having a baby, and I love that Tommy is one. He is all over the place, exploring, and I have a blast with him but I'm also having a rough time too. There are days when I can't seem to think of a single thing to do with him, except the same old, same...old...things that we always do. We play with the same toy over and over, we take walks, of course a big part of our day is spent feeding and taking naps, but when it comes to those hours before the naps that are allotted for play time sometimes I am at a loss. Every once in a while I try to do something new and fun like finger painting or some other such new activity, but I have to say my attempts haven't been super successful. I think there are a few issues at play here:
1. He's still a baby. Rice/bean filled sensory box? Play dough? Crayons? Nope. He's still obsessed with eating everything, including but not limited to clods of dirt, dust bunnies and cat food. There's a lot he can do, and he's always into something new, but there are also things that he just can't do yet, and that's ok.
2. The pressure. I'm putting way too much pressure on myself. First of all, I vacillate between being super "woe is me" about this pregnancy and how tired I am, and feeling like "well the baby isn't here yet, why am I still sitting on my butt?" I need to stay away from pinterest and/or any blog written by a mom who used to work in early childhood education and is constantly posting new and exciting baby/toddler activities. It's just too much, and I think I need to give myself an emotional break and just know that he IS learning, he IS growing and healthy, and we're gonna get through this weird stage and be ok. Because this in-between-baby-but-not-quite-yet-a-toddler thing is just that...a stage.
On another note, I survived bachelorette party number one, and am gearing up for number two this coming weekend, but let me tell you something. Since becoming a mom, and then a pregnant mom, I just do not have the stamina required to go out to the bars until 2 am. I am still recovering. But it was fun! I couldn't possibly be any happier for these two girls who have been my friends since I was five years old. For both of them to have found such great, kind men is such a blessing. I am so happy to be able to celebrate with them and be a part of all the wedding festivities. I AM a little nervous about the dresses. Luckily, the first wedding is only a few weeks away, and I have two dresses to choose from, so if one doesn't work I can always do the other. BUT, I have gained what probably is now about 7 ish lbs, and I'm looking more like 5 months pregnant than just three. I have absolutely no idea what the belly will look like at 20 weeks when this second wedding rolls around. That dress I ordered about 8 months ago...it's gonna get interesting people.
On a final note, I have been thinking A LOT about the future lately (obviously) and contemplating the idea of being pregnant for the second time before we even hit our two year anniversary. I am EXCITED (and TERRIFIED) about baby number two, and am so blessed that our family and friends are so supportive. I have had not one "So soon?!" comment, and I really thought that was gonna be a common occurrence. But everyone is so excited. My husband very aptly commented the other day that we have never really done anything gradually, and that is very true of how our marriage has gone so far. Because we are also moving again, for the third time in two years. Pat's parents have very generously purchased a house that we are going to be renting from them for the next year (and maybe eventually buying from them), and I have to say I don't even know what to do with myself at the thought of living in an actual house. Shallow as it is, I am so looking forward do doing things like painting, and hanging things on walls, and decorating a nursery instead of Pat and I looking at each other and saying, "Is it even worth it to make it look like we live here." I can't wait to bring home baby number two to a place where we will actually continue to live for more than week before moving. So many things are changing, and while I am usually dreading changes, I am really looking forward to these.
Bring on the madness!
This was not the most exciting post I've ever written, and I have a lot of things rolling around in my brain, so hopefully this is the beginning of me jumping back on the blogging train.
For now, Adios. Off to enjoy the rest of naptime by either showering, or eating. Probably eating. As always.