So a blogger that I have been following since I first found out I was pregnant with Tommy wrote a really awesome post recently. She just found out she is expecting her second little one, and this post just touched my heart. I think it's safe to say that this is one of those bloggers that I feel like I know because she has such a sweet heart, but also because I've been stalking her for a while (embarrassing) and eating up pretty much every post she writes about her family.
Anyway, Tommy is ten whole months old, and my period came back about three months ago. So far I've had two, and it doesnt seem to be getting regular at all, because it's been about a month and a half since my last one, and I also skipped one in there somewhere. It bears noting that I am still breastfeeding A LOT, so I understand the mechanics of everything, but good grief...I hate seeing that negative pregnancy test.
I loved Lindseys' post because she hit the nail on the head when it comes to how I'm feeling. We got pregnant so fast the first time, and we would be ecstatic to be pregnant again soon. Every time I take a test, we are both hoping for a positive. There is just something about having a baby that makes you want another one, and I feel ready. But I know that it's not my feelings, or my desires, but God's will that rules the day around here, so I have to be patient, and be ok with the fact that its not the right time yet.
I have to admit to feeling guilty for wanting another baby so soon. I am more than well aware that there are people out there who want a baby more than anything and can't have one. So, like Lindsey, I feel like I have to be really careful and sensitive about how vocal I am about wanting to grow our family. So far, the only two people that know that this desire is there are me and my husband. But when love is real, it begs to be multiplied, and I am so looking forward to having another little one to love, and giving Tommy a sibling. I don't want to presume that I know God's will, and I know that there are families out there that really struggle with fertility issues even after having other children. But my heart hopes.
I know this is a little wordy, but I wanted to put it out there that family life is such a blessing. It's really not viewed that way in our world today much is it?
It's such a big, awesome, scary responsibility, but I can't think of anything better, or anything that I would rather devote my life to.
For now, waiting patiently...(or at least trying)
P.S. Just for fun, here is a picture from when I was pregnant with Tommy (If you know me, then it won't surprise you that I did not unveil a single pregnancy picture to ANYONE while I was cooking Tommy in my belly, but looking back now I can appreciate how amazing it is to be pregnant, and I think I'm mostly over my self consciousness about the big belly...maybe next time I won't be so un-fun!