"I'm calling you to a level of trust that will make you uneasy, my love."
I've been praying for a long long time that I would be able to come to a deeper trust and dependence on God. Just in case you were wondering, when you pray for things like that, God hears you. If you ask for humility, He will give you opportunities to grow in humility. If you ask him to crush your plans, and replace them with His own, He's going to...seriously. So this is just a disclaimer for anyone who may not have realized that prayers like that are dangerous. God is stretching me. As we would say at camp, i am in my "stretch-zone" right now. I realize that I have spread myself far too thin this semester to feel as though i can deal with all of these things happening in my life in a healthy way. But I trust now more than ever in God's perfect timing, in his plan, in his Love for me. In prayer yesterday i sat and had a realization that if i had been standing may have knocked me over... God has a plan. Nothing new so far right? Wrong....God has a plan. WHAT. God has a plan. God has a plan. Have you ever actually let that sink in before? He has it all planned out. Every step that i take, every person that enters into my life, every word that he speaks to my heart, and that he speaks to me through the people around me. Planned. He has a plan. Do you know how much he has to love us to have that kind of plan? Every moment He is watching, walking with, holding, comforting,pleading with, washing clean, listening to, whispering to, gazing at, dying for...loving...ME. US. WHAT.
He loves us with the most incredible, indelible, impossible to understand love. He will crush our plans...why? Because he loves us. He will lead us into the valley...why? So he can bring us out again, because he loves us.
What do we have to do? Get out. Get out of the boat. Get out of our own heads, and learn to love Him. Pray for trust, and he will give you opportunities to trust him. Take those opportunities, and you will grow in endurance. He is calling us to a level of trust that will make us uneasy...sometimes it hurts...but ultimately there is no greater source of joy and peace. Get out of the boat. He has a plan. Do we believe it?