"Let God push your boat out into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of the interior life." Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, 55.
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.”
Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing,
but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish
and their nets were tearing.
(Luke 5-from the Gospel reading for today)
So this morning as I was sitting in mass and listening to this gospel reading, i was reminded of this passage from St. Faustina's diary that really struck me, and that i meditated on a few weeks ago. I will admit that i am at a place in my life right now where i am excited to see what's next, but also terrified. It's like i'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and my toes are curled over the side, and im leaning over as far as i can, but there's still just a little something that's holding me back from just falling into His will for my life. I praise God, because i know that i have never felt more confident in His will for my life as i do right now...what a gift...but there is still that fear, and doubt stirring in me. And then i hear this gospel. Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch. Simon basically looks at him and says...well...that makes no sense. I don't see how we will be able to catch anything-we've been working all night and haven't caught a thing-but...because it's you Jesus, i'll do what you say. How many times do i do that? I hear you calling me Jesus, but that makes no sense. Things can't possibly work out that way..i can't possibly take this next step. It's not time...i'm not ready...i've been casting my nets all night long, and what have i gained?
But the important things to notice here is that we need Christ's help. And not only did they catch fish, by following what Jesus commanded them to do, they caught more than they could handle. They filled two boats, almost to the point that both were in danger of sinking! The priest at mass today made a comment that God cannot be outdone in generosity...and while there will be times where Jesus calls us to cast into the deep, we have no need to fear.
In the middle of mass today something that Katie quoted to me this past week came back to me- "God's will for our lives is nothing more than the greatest desire of our hearts." God wants us to be happy- he doesn't promise that things will be easy...but He loves us. When you love someone, you want to be with them all the time, the desires of their heart becomes your desire, you would do anything for their good. He wants to be with us...the desires of our hearts are a gift from Him-he wants to fulfill them...He did everything.
All he asks is that we be willing to cast out into the deep...to allow our little, beat-up boats to be pushed out into deeper water, even when it may seen counterproductive, hopeless, dangerous, useless.
It's like he was saying to them: "You want to catch some fish? Do what i tell you...I'll show you what it can be like to really catch some fish...watch this."