For some reason, my heart has been at camp lately. Maybe its because I've been looking at pictures from this summer, and I've had a few conversations with people about it in the past week or so, but i just really miss it. There's something about being at camp that just...helps me remember who I am, and i need to figure out how to transfer that to the rest of my life. Maybe it's because when you are at camp, everything needs to be about Christ, and serving others, and painful as it can sometimes be it becomes second nature almost to give everything else up. I find myself getting so self conscious here sometimes, and worrying about silly little things that mean nothing, and then i remember camp, where its necessary to give everything up to become uncomfortable for Christ. It's hard to explain. But it doesn't matter how gross you look at the end of the day, or how tired you are, or what ridiculous thing you have to go and do next. All that matters is the work, and the joy that can come, even from doing things that you really would rather not do. The reward is going to bed each night knowing that you have poured all your energy and life into the kids, and into the people you work with, and knowing that because of Christ you will be able to wake up the next morning, full of joy and ready to do it all over again. God was always ready to surprise us when we least expected it. But that's not just camp, thats life. And i need to remember how to make myself open to that, and to remember the freedom that can come from serving others. I need to remember what its like for every moment of my day to be a prayer, and i need to remember what its like to draw strength from prayer. I need to start praying before everything i do, for strength, and conviction, and peace, and i need to start praying after everything i do again, in thanksgiving. I need to get back into that camp mindset, where i am reminded that all that matters is following where He leads, no matter what that might mean. And even though at times, more often than not, i find myself really missing the community of camp, i need to pour myself with the same energy into whatever community i am a part of at the moment, and be present. God is always calling us to serve, it just might not be in the ways that we expect.
So I'm going to dedicate my day to Christ, and see what He has up his sleeve.
God our Father,
I offer you my day. I offer you my prayers, joys, works and sufferings, in union with your son Jesus Christ, who continues to offer Himself in the Eucharist for the salvation of the world. May the Holy Spirit, who guided Jesus, be my guide and my strength today so that i may witness to your love. With Mary, the Mother of our Lord, and of the Church, i pray especially for this months intentions, as proposed by the holy father.
Eternal word, only begotten son of the father, teach me true generosity. Teach me to serve as you deserve, to give without counting the cost, to fight heedless of the wounds, to labor without seeking rest, to sacrifice myself without the thought of any reward, except for the knowledge that i have done your will.