Saturday, January 18, 2014

Cliche post about the adventure of marriage

Marriage is an adventure. I think that statement is true, and I'm sure I saw the truth in it before I was actually a married woman. But Pat and I were in the car this morning talking about the future, and reflecting on the last two and a half years and I realized just how true it is for us. Apparently moving homes is one of the most stressful experiences for married couples. So far we have moved three times, and may or may not be gearing up for another move sometime in the next 6 months to a year depending on where Pat can find a job. Add to those three moves, being pregnant twice (because that is a whole big huge, messy exhausting thing unto itself) and having two babies. There have only been three or four weeks of our entire marriage so far that I have not been either pregnant or nursing a baby. Pretty soon we will also be adding a pretty dramatic career change on Pat's part, but what exactly that is going to be or entail we don't know yet. Suffice it to say, whatever periods of normalcy or consistency we have experienced so far in our marriage have been incredibly short lived, and only a bridge to whatever the next big thing was going to be.
It's strange now talking about what our plans are for future children. If I can do the math correctly, we have charted and used NFP for all of about three weeks of our two and a half years of marriage. Which means that in this nearly 6 weeks postpartum moment, we are pretty confused. So we are definitely in uncharted territory.
The future seems pretty uncertain right now, and I have to say that although things are a little bit easier today that they were a few weeks ago, having two kids under two years old brings with it quite the learning curve, and I have a feeling that won't be ending any time soon.
It's hard to even imagine being settled down. Living in a home we have no intention of moving out of anytime soon. Settling into a groove and staying put for a while. I don't know what that's like. It simultaneously scares me and sounds like just the ticket for a frazzled mom. We are so used to being on the move, preparing for the next big game changer, that I almost can't conceive of letting life slow down for a while.
Marriage is definitely an adventure. Pat commented that in the last two years, with the moves and the babies, we have made more significant changes than some married couples ever make. But I know I wouldn't change it. And I know I'm not alone in my experience. Forever and ever, people have been having babies, losing jobs, getting new jobs, moving, bickering, wondering what's going to happen next, and surviving it. So when I feel lonely in my role as a stay mom, or I'm overwhelmed by my toddler throwing up all over me and the newborn baby (it happened the other wasn't pretty), or stressing over my husbands job situation, I know that I'm not the first, and I won't be the last. It doesn't make those moments a whole lot easier when they're happening, but in a way it makes them more bearable in retrospect. And as apprehensive as I sometimes am about the future, I say bring it on. Look at all that we've been through and survived, and all the great moments we've had. Look at all the tough moments that have made us stronger. I think if we've toughed out these past two and a half years, we can probably handle a little bit more.
And that's why even though the thought of moving, and more babies, and job changes and the uncertainty of it all can overwhelm me at times, I'm feeling hopeful that it will all turn out okay. God knows.

No comments: