I have been so blessed.
I just spent a while talking to Elizabeth, my roommate about study abroad.
Just remembering the things i've seen and the moments that i've had in my life seems really overwhelming to me right now. It's not just the beautiful things that i saw when i was in Europe...even though that in itself is hard to believe. The sunsets, and leaning over the edge of the bridge on the Arno at night. Some of the best memories that i have are moments like that. But i've come to realize that my life is bursting with beautiful moments like that. The pain you feel when you experience a loss, or when something in life doesn't go the way you planned doesn't have to diminish the joy and beauty of the moments that God chose to bless you with. I can still joy in having experienced love in my life, coming at me from a lot of different directions. As bittersweet as that might be sometimes, i think it's worth it to keep appreciating the times that we were happy, and especially the times that we found ourselves in awe of God's goodness in our lives.
I want to be a positive person, and live my life like i truly believe that the joy i find in Christ can carry me through anything. I want to be strong. But at the same time, i never want to stop experiencing things the way that i do. The last thing i want is to become stony, and unwilling to be affected by things. So honestly...right my heart just aches in an indescribable way...but i feel joyously appreciative of each beautiful moment that God has blessed me with.